When a Relationship is Working . . .
For anyone who has been in a relationship that was once healthy but turned toxic, there is such a thing as “gaslighting” where the toxicity seeps into your life and what is healthy disappears. Sometimes, it can take months or years for you to realize that not only are you in a toxic, unhealthy relationship, you have changed. If your friends, if they are still your friends, are telling you that you have changed, listen to them.
So, in case you need reminders of what a healthy relationship is:
- Feeling safe to be yourself.
- When you need to talk about something, you don’t fear how your partner will react.
- When you are apart, you feel secure and your communication is normal and caring.
- There is consistency (e.g. daily rituals together).
- The boundaries are clear regarding other people.
- Accepting fault and being accountable.
- Be kind to each other, which can be as simple as no yelling, constant criticism, or name calling.
- Little gestures of love and appreciation.
- Someone who listens to you.
- They say and do what they say.
- Being included in decisions that affect both of you.
- Loving you for who you are.
- Being able to put your phone down and know your privacy is kept.
- Saying no to sex and not have it used as retribution.
This is a healthy relationship.
