The Holidays
© Susan Todd-Raque
By the time you read this essay Thanksgiving will be next week, followed by Christmas soon thereafter.
The holidays are a mixed blessing for many of us. Thanksgiving is my favorite. Families gather and it is general consensus if someone is away from home, has no family left, homeless, they are thought of, and included because it is that one day of the year where everyone sits at the same table and gives thanks for being under one roof, and sharing with one another. Most everyone recognizes the true meaning of Thanksgiving as a holiday. Thanksgiving also has many, what we psychologists call, “conditioned stimuli” to evoke our senses and our earliest memories of our families, including remembering the family member whom you had not seen in a while comes to your home, a son or daughter, an uncle, or estranged family member who decides to come for this special day, or the friend of a friend that has no place to go and you welcome them to your home.
Then, there is the smell of turkey and dressing, the sweet potato casserole, the mashed potatoes, cranberries, and pies. Every family has their special dishes probably passed along from generation to generation. We give thanks and provide something we all need more of, acceptance and love, to those we share the meal with that day.
In contrast to Thanksgiving is the mad scramble of the Christmas. Most of you probably know, the time of year most people get sick is during the holidays. We push ourselves to shop and spend. Many of us go into debt to be sure all those people we love, and/or feel obligated to, get a gift, even though we cannot afford it. There are many for whom this is the only time off. What do they do? They feel guilty about their obligation to visit family they don’t even feel close to. Or, because they want everyone in the family to feel the Christmas spirit of getting a gift, they battle going from shop to shop, fighting crowds and traffic, to find the something a person will appreciate and like, even though they really do not know them well.
I had a patient several years ago who told me he and his family treat Christmas like Thanksgiving. The family gets together and enjoys just that, spending time together. Then, the day after Christmas, they all meet, buy one gift for one another on sale, have dinner out and go home.
Whatever your Christmas traditions are, enjoy them. The Christmas spirit is not all about giving or receiving gifts, it is most about a renewal of your spirit and the birth of something you want to change as you approach the new year. Happy Holidays to all this coming season!
